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My mom is so innocent she makes Jesus looks like Satan.

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If you ever wondered why women get paid less than men, here’s your answer: Know how girls get into parties for free while guys pay 5 bucks? That 5 bucks is coming out of your paycheck once you graduate.

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Periods aren’t so bad, because they let you know you’re not pregnant. They’re like family members you haven’t seen in a while coming by to visit. On the first day you’re glad to see them, but starting on the second day you just want them to get the fuck out.

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He’s from Guyana and India. Two VERY poor countries, I might add.